The Good, the Bad, and the Self-aware

I have discovered that there are countless advantages of studying in a foreign country. Moving abroad has taught me how to be more independent. I have learned aspects of the culture as well as the language. I have learned how to interact and build relationships in an unfamiliar environment. In addition to those very important things, I'm also learning about the kind of person I want to be. I've had an amazing start to my semester abroad in Argentina, but I wouldn't be honest if I only revealed the positive pieces of this journey.

It's extremely difficult for me to understand the local Spanish spoken here. It differs from person to person but I've found that I'm going to have to try very hard to speak and understand Spanish as often as I can. I've found that although it can sometimes be rough, engaging in a successful conversation with someone in Spanish or getting a compliment on how well I'm doing makes me feel secure in the fact that I'm learning and improving. It makes me want to try harder, practice more, and speak English less. I don't want to be held back by fear or insecurities. Even if I say the wrong thing, I will (from now on) say it with confidence, because at least I'm growing in my abilities.

Although I have been fairly independent for a long time, and don't experience homesickness as much as other people do, I find myself combing through the social media accounts of my friends and family and I feel like in I'm missing out on the lives of the people I love. The internet and social media make it possible and efficient for me to stay in touch, but it also creates an intense fear of missing out. Then I remember that in five months I will be reunited with everyone with this amazing journey under my belt.

Also, growing up in a small town has done me a major disservice because I've never had to know my directions. Add bus routes and subway lines and street names and it gets a bit more stressful. I am definitely improving on maneuvering around this great city but it will probably be time for me to leave before I get it mastered.

Although these challenges keep popping up like an in-law, it's definitely not a deal breaker or cause to give up. I'm learning about myself as well as the city around me. I'm learning that despite the crazy party culture here, I'm not a fan of staying out until the sun comes up dancing shoulder to shoulder with other sweaty party animals. I would rather go to a low-key bar where I can have a conversation with someone over some drinks to get to know them. I also don't want to sleep my next day away in a horrific, hangover coma. I want to get up the next morning with the sun and go for a run and drink some coffee and begin a day full of adventure. I'm learning what my strengths and weaknesses are and how to problem solve in the real world. I'm learning how to stretch 100 Argentine pesos over the course of a week.

I'm learning that despite my unwavering hatred for anything but small towns up to this point, I could definitely see myself living in a bigger city. I'm adjusting to all the people, and the added travel time of city transportation. Everything is just so beautiful and alive.

Those are just some things I've sorted out about myself after doing some reflecting. I want to make the most of my time here. I want to come home a refreshed, intellectual, worldly individual...not that girl who still can't speak Spanish and gained 20 pounds because all she did was go clubbing. I want this experience to make me a stronger, deeper human. 

El Obelisco de Buenos Aires

Plaza de la República